sort of like getting a car fixed (lyn)

I’m answering emails this morning, and in the background I hear a segment on The Today Show about car dealerships and how they cheat customers.  Producers of the show consult with independent mechanics and they create a simple, easy-to-repair problem…one that should take about 5 minutes to discover and less time to fix.  So they have a female producer bring the car to three Jeep dealerships.  They all tell the driver that she has a multitude of complicated things wrong with her car. The cost for fixing ranges from a low of $325 (from a Manhattan dealership) to $1,990 (from a suburban dealer).  It should cost about $100.

Today I go to a new dentist and I am using a $59 Groupon certificate, good for a full set of X-rays, an exam, and a thorough cleaning.  My regular dentist charges $175 for just a cleaning, so it’s a very good deal.  My family thinks I’m crazy.  The consensus over Yom Kippur break fast was, “Are you kidding?  I would never use a coupon for a dentist!  Maybe for a free pizza, but never a dentist.  You’re nuts.”

I skip breakfast as I want to maximize the cleanliness of my mouth.  The office, on the Upper East Side, is clean, professional, and occupied by normal looking people.  I meet my dentist.  He is handsome, well-dressed, and welcoming. He has pictures showing a beautiful family.  I feel I am in good hands.

First, we do the ten X-rays.  Next, I ask for nitrous oxide for the cleaning.  I float away with Hoda and Kathy Lee playing on the 60 inch TV in front of me.  The doctor is doing the cleaning.  In my relaxed state, I first think:  “Hey, this is great.  A doctor doing my cleaning.”  Then I think, “I bet he won’t be as good as the hygienist because this isn’t what he does all day.”  Then I wonder, “Is he doing my cleaning to impress me with his attention or is he doing my cleaning because he isn’t busy enough and therefore can’t afford a hygienist?” 

Suddenly the dentist is speaking to me, the nitrous oxide has turned to oxygen, and he is asking me to look at the TV.  A giant size close-up of one of my teeth has replaced Hoda and Kathy Lee.  It’s the same tooth that caused me a problem in 2006.  The one that caused me immeasurable pain.  The one I nearly had a nervous breakdown over.

The dentist tells me that this tooth is very problematic.  He suggests that I make an appointment to see a periodontist right away, saying he is not sure at this stage if the tooth can be saved. 

I leave feeling I’ve walked out of a Jeep dealership.  But my teeth are very clean and so I eat little the rest of the day.

feeling good about something (lyn)

I spend the morning online applying for seasonal jobs at places like Saks, Bloomingdales, and Bergdorf’s.  It takes hours as each job requires completion of multiple forms.  I even re-do my resume to make myself look more qualified as a sales clerk. One of the stores requires that I take an online 35-minute timed test.  Really, you would think I was competing to replace Steve Jobs.

I have a BAFTA Screening meeting in the afternoon.  I get dressed in fall clothes for the first time this season. My small black favorite Thakoon skirt from last year still fits perfectly, and my Prada boots easily slide over my calves. My fur-trimmed black cape from many seasons back still looks glamorous and chic.  I walk out the door feeling good.  While I may not be a person with an important job anywhere, I can still look the part. 

whole foods (lyn)

I shop here rarely as there isn’t one nearby.  But there is one in Union Square, where I happen to be with some time to kill. 

It’s the most socially relevant grocery store I have ever been in.  Everything about it is well-planned and green.  The foods boast “all natural” on their labels.  The color-coated checkout lines insure fairness (it doesn’t matter what line you are in, an automated sign alternates the first person from each line to one of 35 or so cashiers).  You never have to wait long, despite the crowds.

I buy a bottle of an “earth friendly product” called Fruit and Vegetable Wash.  It promises to “effectively remove soil, dirt, wax and other contaminants.”  I guess water alone isn’t good enough.  Then I find a small bottle of Balsamic Dressing that says things on it like health starts here, low sodium, no oil, and even, a breakthrough new approach to eating smart and choosing right.  I wonder if it cures cancer too?  And finally, I buy some certified organic vanilla-cranberry granola.  Does that mean if it isn’t certified it’s not really organic?

After shopping (and feeling healthy just from ready the labels) I decide to grab a quick lunch at the inviting-looking salad bar.  I carefully choose items of zero points (baby spinach, cucumbers, peas, tomatoes, a sprinkle of almonds) and the balsamic-no-oil-dressing.  I pay and go upstairs to eat.  The up escalator is stationary and the down escalator is working.  I assume this is a deliberate attempt to get people to climb stairs.

I eat my healthy salad and then go to deposit the trash.  I have four options:

Compost

Food, napkins, paper cups, salad bar containers

Clean bottles and cans only

Plastic forks, spoons and knives only

Trash

Landfill

I don’t know the difference between compost and landfill trash so I just guess and hope I made the right decision.

a busy saturday (lyn)

The rain has finally stopped.  It’s a sunny, crisp, fall day, and I have lots to do.

I get on the scale and I’m 121.2.  I don’t know if it’s the tracking or if my scale was off on Tuesday when it read 125.4, but as long as I’m 122 or less, I’m happy.  I take Valerie’s suggestion and go online to learn the art of blow-drying hair.  I watch a 3-minute YouTube video and it really helps.  I do a fairly decent job, and my sister is right.  As silly and vain as it may sound, when my hair looks good, I feel better.

I go to the Farmer’s Market and pick up my usual order of corn, tomatoes, a small sugar-free apple pie, red pepper, and lots of apples of different varieties.  I then cave and buy a cinnamon swirl roll and a chocolate croissant, which I wasn’t going to list, but feel I have to.  If I’m not going to be truthful in my own blog, why bother?

I do some errands at home, including returning a book I recently bought through Amazon. I got it for my book club, but it doesn’t appeal to me and there are so many other books I’d rather invest time in.  I go through the necessary online steps to return the book (it cost $11) and then get this pop-up message at the end, “Keep this book.  Because you are a valued customer, we will process your refund and this book does not need to be returned.”  How sweet. 

I clip on my Fitbit and decide to walk the four miles downtown to see a new Adam Rapp play, Dreams of Flying Dreams of Falling with Christine Lahti.  The ticket cost $3.50, I have a great seat, and the 80-minute play is highly entertaining.  Still, when the play ends, I feel as if I’ve watched a great bit of absurd theater with no idea of its meaning.  No one around me seems to have a clue either (I know this because I ask them what the play is about, and they are bewildered too).

I have a couple of hours to kill before meeting Zelia for a screening of a new George Clooney movie (The Descendants) so I stop by Whole Foods and grab a zero-point salad for a late lunch. 

There’s a Q&A after the movie with the whole cast and the director, Alexander Payne.  The intelligence of film people always surprises me.  As for Mr. Clooney... well, he seems pretty much perfect (handsome, humble, funny and kind).  Zelia even gets her picture taken with him.

After the screening, we have a late dinner at Steak Frites.  Zelia is a good influence and I have seared tuna, no dessert, and a large glass of good red wine. By the time we leave the restaurant, I fully understand why people like to drink.

poor reason to say no (lyn)

My sister calls and suggests lunch.  I can’t go.  First, I am already committed on points.  I have the steak I bought yesterday along with the flan for dessert and grilled vegetables.  That alone is 22 points, leaving 7 for the rest of the day.  And I’ve already used 2 of those 7 for the half and half I had in my coffee.  I know I can just eat a small salad but I also know how unsatisfying that would be.  If it were just the points, I would go.  But then there’s the issue of my hair.  It looks horrid on a sunny day and today is humid, cloudy and drizzly.  And yes, my sister would notice, as she always looks fabulous with her thick, gorgeous, blond, hair…the kind people dream of having.  We get in a discussion about how bad my hair looked on break fast (and that was after I had tried blowing it dry and even flat ironing it).  She can’t understand (nor can I, quite frankly) why I can’t blow it out myself.  My sister suggests I use the Internet to figure out the mechanics and then practice.  I know she’s right.  I can’t hide in my apartment because my hair looks bad.  She did say something sweet.  “You have a great face and you can always look good.”  In other words, imagine my potential if I learned how to manage my hair.  

a-maze-ing (m)

My phone rings at 7:15.  I awaken from an Advil-and-Tiger-Balm-induced coma.  I don't have my bearings and my husband is bellowing for me to pick up the phone it's Susan!

"Put on The Today Show," she says.  "Someone from our home town is going to be on."

Okay, this snapped me to attention.  You have to understand, my home town is full of nice people but, well, how do I say this delicately...not exactly Movers and Shakers.

"Why?" I ask.  Why is someone from our town on The Today Show?

Susan can't answer right away because she is snorting from laughing so hard.

She pulls herself together to say "BECAUSE THEY GOT LOST IN A CORN MAZE WITH THEIR INFANT BABY AND HAD TO CALL 911 TO BE RESCUED."

My first thought?  Well, at least they had something to eat.

re-starting (lyn)

I call and reinstate myself into Weight Watchers etools (the part that allows me to track what I eat online).  Next, I unwrap a food scale I had gotten months ago and never used (it was a replacement for an old WW scale that had broken).  Once I figured out how to open the battery door, I was armed and ready.

Zelia and I drive out to Queens and go to one of our favorite, and hugely inexpensive restaurants, Brazil Café Grill.  For $15, I buy dinner for three nights. 

I get home and go through my old routine.  I weigh the pork chops for tonight’s dinner-147 grams for 6 points.  I eyeball the mashed potatoes (no way am I putting them in a measuring container to find out if they really are half a cup). I divide the sirloin into two servings of 165 grams each.  I calculate the points and add them into my dinners for tonight, tomorrow and Friday.  While I am at the scale, I also cut up and weigh some mozzarella cheese that I have leftover from Alexander’s visit.  The cheese I cut up is 8 points.  

I sit down for dinner.  Mashed potatoes.  Pork chops.  And a mozzarella-tomato salad.  I decide the 9 points for the salad isn't worth it, and throw the cheese out.  The tomatoes alone are good enough.


I  meet Robyn for a screening of The Ides of March, feeling thinner already.