the unsaid (lyn)

There is something disingenuous about writing a blog.  The fact is, many important subjects in my life are not detailed on these pages.

JDate for example.  I joined recently, and decided to be honest and brief about me.  But I am very particular about the men I choose.  First, they need to be attractive.  Second, it’s helpful if we appear to have things in common.  And third, they need to communicate well (no typos, misspellings, stupid or gushy comments).  And there are other things. While not imperative, they are still important.  I like men who are dads.  I think it’s difficult to appreciate parenting if you haven’t been there.  Next, I have a strong preference for people who live in Manhattan.  It just makes things easier, and relieves some of the pressure.  If someone has to make an effort to see me for coffee or lunch, I might feel guilty if I find I’m not interested.  And finally, our first “date” should be easy, comfortable and fun.

But I’ve decided to keep silent about the people I meet (unless the date is egregiously bad).

Then there is the whole applying-to-college stress that both Alexander and I have been living for the past few months.  Our concerns, as they should be, are different.  He is putting intense pressure on himself to do well first semester, to make up for a B average in freshman year.  He is also agonizing over the required essays, as well as the big decision that must be made soon:  which one school to apply to for Early Decision.  My concerns also include:  what if he doesn’t get the financial aid we hope to get?  And what about the emotional side of his leaving home?  I can’t write about my fears regarding these concerns.

And finally, this week I have had two long conversations with someone in my life I rarely speak to, but who is nonetheless an important presence.  The conversations were productive and civil, and reminded me of times long ago, when we spoke regularly and with no acrimony.  I also won’t blog about this person.

It is easy to write about the non-emotional subjects.  But it’s the more interesting stories that often go unwritten.