another college tour (m)

We tour another college.  A ton of people are here.  We break into three groups.  Do we want the Latin American-sounding man with the very thick accent?  The Low Talker student?  Or the vivacious girl from Atlanta whose chest looked like it had been branded with a butterfly-shaped livestock tool.

We go with the butterfly-girl.  At least I can hear and understand her.  I just won't look at her.

I've been to this school before, when Sam was visiting colleges.  It's a beautiful New England college with a fine reputation.  I know the school fairly well, and decide I don't really need to pay attention.  I focus instead on the other parents.

A blonde woman in tight white jeans and thong underwear is walking beside her bored-looking daughter who keeps twirling a piece of her hair and casting wistful glances at the football game down the hill.  The mother is in her early 40's.  She is wearing a too-tight and too-short tee shirt which keeps riding up, exposing a part of her tanned abdomen. 

If I were that thin, would I ever dress like that?  For a college tour? I decide not.

Next is Schlumpy, one of the Eight Dwarfs.  Pants too big, Keds, dumpy sweater, permed hair.

If I were that clueless, would I ever dress like that?  I decide not.

Then there's the Toni Twins.  Mother and daughter.  Same outfits.  Jeans, LL Bean fisherman shirt, matching Longchamp bags. 

If I had a daughter, would we dress alike?  I decide not.

I'm having so much fun, analyzing the parents, that the tour is over before I know it.