may I borrow your dog? (m)

I'm getting desperate.  It's getting more and more difficult to lose weight.  I lost 4 lbs the week before Romania, gained 5 during that week and lost 4 during the past week.  Three weeks and I'm up a pound. 

I decide to walk more.  I could use some companionship but here are the specs:

-no talking.  I hate to talk while I'm walking for exercise.
-can't go too fast.  The knees aren't up for that.
-must go where I want to go.  No debates about the best route, etc.

Can you imagine laying down those criteria to a friend?

I call my neighbor, S, the former cheerleader.

Me:  Hi...it's M.  How are you?
S: Hey!!!  I'm great!!! How are YOU??
Me: Good, listen, may I borrow U for a walk tomorrow?
S: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.  My husband was rustling something in the background.
Me: I want to take U for a walk tomorrow.  Are you around to let her out?
S: (now she knows she heard me the first time..): Ah, ah, yes.  Yes.  For a walk?
Me: Yes.  A walk.  I don't want to go alone and it helps my knees if I can hold onto the leash and have it pull at the other end.
S: (stunned).  Oh. Ah, sure.  Ah, what time?
Me: 8:15 okay?
S: Ah, okay.

Harrison overhears the whole thing.  He looks at me and says, "Did you just ask our neighbor to borrow her dog for a walk?" 

Yes, I did.

"Aren't you a little embarrassed?"

Nope.

8:15 the next morning, S arrives at my house in her Mercedes SUV.  The dog is in the front seat, jumping out of her fur trying to get out.

S rolls down the window, laughing.  "You know, you didn't even ask if I wanted to come for a walk, too!"

She gives me the dog and the leash and makes me promise to invite her to join us next time.

We'll see.  It's an exclusive club.  We'll have to think about it.