missing items (lyn)

If Alexander likes something, it disappears quickly.  A big bag of little Babybel cheeses can live in my refrigerator for only a few days.  A pint of sorbet from Agata?  Gone in one sitting.  Fresh blueberries?  Same thing.  A loaf of fresh bread?  Maybe two days.  So disappearing items is not a new concept in our household.

I have a small apartment and I am very neat.  Alexander used to be, but since he entered the double-digits, his proclivity for neatness has declined.  Now, whatever he wears, ends up in a heap in his room.  He wears more clothes than one could think possible, and they all lie everywhere except in his drawers or laundry basket.  I find his winter coat in many places (over a dining room chair, on the arm of our sofa, on a table.  Once he even left it at school).  His shoes, which he does take off in the apartment, can usually be found in a corner of the living room (at least it’s always the same corner).  And his clothes…weeks’ worth…are everywhere.  In fairness, Alexander likes things being neat, he just doesn’t like being the one to make them that way.

Zelia and I were discussing this the other night (she has the same problem) and she’s come up with a solution that I’ve adopted with some modifications.  Here are the new rules, as I explain them to Alexander.

“From now on, you have to put your clothes and things away (or fold them neatly in your room) or they will disappear.”

“What do you mean, they’ll disappear?” he asks. 

“I mean, you won’t see them again.” 

“Ever?” he asks. 

“Ever,” I say.  (Though I’m sure it would be temporary, otherwise he’d be going to school in a skimpy summer parka and sandals. But on the positive side, at least he’d wear some of the great clothes he has that have never been removed from his drawers).

“OK, “ he says, “But if I’m going to live with this new rule, then so are you.”

 “Fine,“ I say.  I know this won’t be a problem.

So today I can’t find my glasses.  I look everywhere for them and wonder if they have gone into hiding along with the living room remote that disappeared last week and has still not been found.  After searching everywhere and not finding them, I ask Alexander if he’s seen them. 

“I’m sorry, they’re gone,”  he casually responds while reading A Tale of Two Cities.

“What do you mean gone?” 

“Well, I found them in the bathroom, so now they’ve disappeared.  Sorry.”

Hmmm, maybe I need to re-think these new house rules.