Friday, January 6, 2012

"how's your health?" (m)

To jump-start the new year and keep from eating, I booked a few appointments this week: facial, waxing (eyebrows, upper lip), hair color, hair cut, massage and, last but not least, a trip to the dentist to deal with a chipped crown.

I had last seen my dentist in the Fall of 2008 when I got five implants.  I left with a new smile but my old body.

I walk into the office and sit in the chair.  The chair fist me better than ever.  Dr. D walks in and does a double-take but keeps his professional demeanor.  He deals with the chipped crown (polishes it, takes five minutes).

I don't know about you, but I don't like to talk when I'm in the dentist's chair, having work done on my mouth.  If ever there were a time to shut up, this is it.

Dr. D: How's your health?
Me: Fine...yours?
Dr. D: Fine, thank you.  So what's new?
Me: (Does he seriously expect me to re-cap the past three and one half years?) Nothing.
Dr. D: Really? Nothing?
Me: Nope
Dr. D: So...your health is good?
Me: Yes...lost weight.
Dr. D:  Yes!!  I noticed!  You've lost a lot of weight!  I didn't want to say it, but that's what I was getting at!
Me: Thanks.

After I spit out the debris from my mouth and rinse with the mouthwash, I stand and face him.

He looks at me one more time and says:  "You not only look much better, you also look much younger.  Much younger."

And then it hits me.  Losing weight is the best beauty treatment.

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