healthy-buying (lyn)

A first.  I leave Costco having paid only $102.  I would have spent more but the tin of Pepperidge Farms Pirouette Cookies with Chocolate Hazelnut that Alexander and I both love are no longer available.  “We no longer carry those cookies; they’re seasonal.”   Huh? These cookies are not decorated and do not say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas or have packaging that in any way suggests a particular time of year.  Who decided these were seasonal, I want to ask but don’t.

I think Zelia has, without trying, influenced my purchase decisions.  With the exception of cookies, I now tend to buy healthy, non-processed foods.  My freezer no longer houses frozen pizza bagels and popcorn shrimp, but my refrigerator is very full. 

So here’s what $102 buys at Costco:

• Vegetables:  Mini yellow-red-and yellow peppers and a bag of brussel sprouts.

• Fruit and a gigantic vat of Fage Total 0%:  The blueberries and strawberries look as if they just arrived from some farm.  Bright red and blue and plump.  When I get home, I wash the fruit, cut up the strawberries, mix them in with the blueberries, and then put the whole thing in an airtight container.  My favorite new lunch is:  a little bit of yogurt mixed with strawberries and blueberries, a teaspoon of good honey, and a sprinkling of granola.  It’s filling and excellent. 

• Fiber One Bars (oats and chocolate):  Last week at Fairway I purchased a box of 8 and after trying one, encouraged Alexander to try one too.  When I went to have a second a few days later, they were all gone. Maybe this time I’ll get to have more than one.

• 2 big bags of the mini Babybel cheeses: These are another of the new healthy foods that I’ve introduced into the home that disappear before I have a chance to eat any.

• 4 boxes of Pacific Natural Foods Organic Chicken Broth:  Now that I make soups, these broths have become a staple.

• Shrimp Cocktail:  I always get this at Costco; it’s a great lo-cal appetizer and we both love it.

• Neutrogena Bath Gel:  This is a new item for me that is Zelia-endorsed.  Both Alexander and I have very dry skin, so I’ve decided to move away from soap, even the high-end heavy duty moisturizing ones.

• A big tin of Costco’s cookies:  Good to have on hand for movie night.

picture-perfect dinner (lyn)

Zelia invites me and Alexander to join her and her two kids for dinner.  The last time the five of us dined together was in Rio, almost two years ago.  Zelia has chosen a local French restaurant, Demarchelier.  Every table is filled in this tiny restaurant when we arrive. Fortunately, Zelia dines here often, so even without a reservation, we are seated within a half hour.

As always, it is comfortable and fun.  We laugh separately and together.  And the food is fabulous.  The tracking I had been doing this week will not include tonight’s dinner of bread (only one piece), salad, steak frites, a glass of red wine, and one perfectly prepared tarte tatin with vanilla ice cream for dessert.  I’d be ruining the evening if I chose to compute its point value. 

I embarrass everyone by asking the waitress to take our picture.  I have to fight the kids to get them to agree.  My strongest argument is the truth.  “Last time we were all together for dinner my face was half-sunburned, your mom thought I looked like a little monster, and I was very heavy.”  No one could argue this, so before dessert, we all smile for our waitress.

my annual check up (lyn)

I’ve been seeing the same internist for probably 10 years now.  If she weren’t my doctor, she’d probably be a friend.  She’s smart, interesting, a good listener, and non-judgmental. 

Today is my annual visit, and it is totally uneventful.  Just like I want it.  No problems anywhere.  My weight is 120, my height 5’4 ½”, blood pressure normal but on the low side (90 over 70), no unusual anything.

I remember that last year the assistant weighed and measured me.  Then, I was 138 pounds and slightly under 5’4”.  I remember feeling good about my weight but not happy about my shrinkage (I’ve always been about 5’4 1/2”). 

Today I’m back at my normal height.  Perhaps the additional 18 pounds I lost since my last check up converted into extra inches. At least that's my theory.

annual physical exam (m)

I'm sitting on the edge of the table, clad in a hospital gown, a lovely shade of sea foam green.  I have an excellent memory for all things visual and I recall sitting in the same room, same time last year (roughly), wearing a crimson gown.  I think the sea foam is a size smaller because I remember the assistant looking at me last year, groaning, and reaching in the cabinet for the crimson gown.  I do recall having seen the green  ones then, thinking I would look better in that color.  I'm sure she didn't give it to me because it wouldn't have fit then.   I feel like I've been promoted.

The medical assistant (who just six months ago was a file clerk) wants me to step on the scale. "No," I say, "I don't do that."  She doesn't know what to do.  This is unorthodox.  She stares at her clipboard and I can tell she's frozen, unable to move on to the blood pressure check.

She leaves the room.  I'm guessing she's calling the authorities on me.  I'm right.  In walks Dr. Uber WASP.

Dr. Well, hello!  How are you?
Me: Fine, thank you.  And you?
Dr. Uh, fine.  Have you lost some weight since last year?
Me: (Pissed.  This woman's known me for 12 years.  I've lost 70 pounds and she's genuinely wondering if I've lost some weight.  Not a boatload. Some.)  Yes, I have.
Dr. Well then, why can't we weigh you?

Good question.  I have no answer other than, "I'd prefer not to."    I don't want to start the visit with a bad number, even if it's better than it's been in years.  I hate scales.

The medical assistant starts the blood pressure read and the doctor begins the exam soon afterwards.

She asks what's new and I start to cry.  I tell her about my mother.  She looks genuinely empathetic.  I like her more because of that.

My EKG was normal.  My blood pressure was 110/70.   I have a mammogram and colonoscopy scheduled for this month.

The exam ends and my doctor looks at me and smiles.  "I can't wait to see less of you next year."

I may even get on the scale then.

missions accomplished, at least for today (lyn)

I leave the house today and barely spend any money.  That’s big for me.

First, I walk to and from my appointment to have my hair colored.  I use a coupon I’d bought for $50 from Gilt Group, a great online site for discounts.  My hair looks great and it feels like it only cost me the $15 I spent in tips.

I pick up dinner for me and Alexander -a grilled chicken breast with fresh tomatoes and onions and a serving of mashed potatoes.  I’ll make roasted brussel sprouts from my shopping spree at Fairway on Sunday.

I window-shop along Madison and upper Lexington and while I do stop into a couple of stores, I leave each one empty-handed.

I began tracking yesterday as planned. I get on the scale this morning and see that I’ve dropped a pound or so.  Perfect.

And finally, today, I begin again my attempt to find or create meaningful employment.  I make a few calls and strategize with some college tutors regarding the market.

I begin the year with two difficult goals:

1. Exercise, a minimum of 3 days/week.
2. Do something job-search related, a minimum of 4 days/week.

I hope I can maintain my commitment with the same fervor I used to lose weight.  We’ll see.  These goals are harder for me.

comfort food (m)

My Cousin Patty hasn't met a problem that couldn't be fixed with food.  When she heard my mother died, she called, her voice cracking and offered her condolences.  Then she got to work.

Next thing I knew, I had 4 containers--vats, is the only way to describe them--of beef barley soup, a large cooked ham, a tray of eggplant (must have weighed 10 pounds) and her super duper chocolate chip banana bread (which she makes with commercial grade, oversized pans).

My neighbor, Sheryl, made a beef stew and brought rye bread (light rye, she's blonde) and butter. 

Kim, a skating mother, sent over a pasta dinner with meatballs and garlic bread and homemade cookies.

Patty, not to be outdone, sent over Wave II which was a whole chicken pot pie (in a large pan) and another tray of eggplant.

My godmother came up from Connecticut with homemade pizzelle (wafer cookies), brownies, a large cheesecake and 2 dozen Bruegger's bagels and six tubs of cream cheese

My husband said he never ate so well.

with a little help from my friends (m)

The days after my mother died will be etched in my brain forever.  Such an outpouring of love and support.  I was..am..overwhelmed.

My closest friends (in alphabetical order)...Abby, Lyn, Mary, Susan and Veronica...were there for me throughout the process.  Abby and I were supposed to have lunch the day my mother became sick.  Abby flew home to California that night, called repeatedly to find out what was going on, and flew back to Massachusetts for the services.  I'll never forget that kindness. 

Lyn and Veronica showed up at my door on Thursday with an offer to "do anything you need."  Little did they know that they would be wrapping all my Christmas gifts (thank you, Veronica...you did too good a job...people knew I didn't wrap the gifts) and Lyn put together a photo album for Sam from his Australia trip (it was his main gift for Christmas, thank you, Lyn).

Susan, my oldest friend, rallied the troops from my old neighborhood and childhood which brought great comfort.  She calls everyday to check in on me.

Mary did errands, including a trip to Fedex with me, where she had to fill out a bunch of forms because I was so dysfunctional. 

A neighbor, Joan, sewed a button on my coat to wear to the services.  Veronica was appalled that I couldn't sew my own button on my coat.  Joan also made runs to the grocery store and brought Veronica wrapping paper so she could wrap "properly"  ( I just bag 'em and tag 'em).

Neighbors and relatives brought food.  Floral deliveries came every day for two weeks.  Fresh fruit from Florida from J's parents sustained us for 10 days.  Cards are still coming.

A few hundred people attended the wake and funeral and luncheon reception.  It really brought tremendous comfort.  People I used to work with and haven't seen for several years came.    A friend from high school read about it in the paper and came.  I hadn't seen her in 37 years.  I was blown away.

What really touched me were the kind notes from some of you who wrote anonymously on the blog.  You made me cry and you touched my heart.  Thank you.

I know I will be fine as long as I have my friends.