a year at a time (m)

Got an email from my alma mater a few weeks ago: "we would be honored if you would serve as a marshal for the Freshman Convocation ceremony on August 31st".  The note went on to say (essentially) that it was no heavy lifting...just fun.  Dinner would be on the house...pick any dorm and present your voucher.  I grew nostalgic thinking about dinner in my old dorm with the underground dining hall full of character.  Like something out of Harry Potter.

I got one of these solicitations last year and it was an easy decision to decline.  I couldn't walk far without getting out of breath.  But like those people you read about who lose alot of weight and then run a marathon, I thought: why not? I can do this.


I envisioned an early Fall day...clear, crisp, cool.  My worst-case scenario was some rain.  No problem.  I have a stylish black rain poncho (sounds like an oxymoron, but it is attractive) and brand-new Hunter rain clogs from Zappos.  Besides, I like the rain.  I like cool weather.

I was prepared...and psyched.

Here's what went down:

-96 degree heat.  Near-record temperatures.
-the Freshman dorm to which I was assigned never made it to the designated spot on time.  I had to walk four blocks to find them.  How they got in this school is beyond me.  They couldn't follow a simple map.
-we ran out of lapel pins to distribute.  Some kids started complaining.
-the march route was shorter than I expected but I got seat on a folding chair on a tree stump.  I sat there for an hour. listing starboard, in the blazing sun with no breeze.... listening to professors talk about their own undergraduate experiences, etc.
-by 5:45 p.m., I was so dehydrated (didn't want to drink so I wouldn't have to pee) I chugged two bottles of Poland Springs water.  The woman I befriended was this crisp little investment banker from LA who is good friends with my former boyfriend from Freshman year ("he's wildly successful," she said).  She wanted to go to her old dorm for dinner.  The menu was pathetic.  Fish cakes...pork in gravy.  The salad bar was anemic.  Same neon pink yogurt I used to eat every day.  Looks like the menu hasn't improved in 30+ years.
-walked back 6 blocks to go to the President's dessert reception.  By now, my face is so flushed people are asking me if I'm all right.  The problem is that I don't sweat.  I just turn red until I look like I'm going to die of heat prostration.
-sat on a chair and wiped my brow, trying to regain some semblance of decorum before I met the President.  Sam calls..."I had an accident but I'm okay".  My heart is thundering....he dropped a weight bar on his head in the training room.  Blood spurted everywhere, a plastic surgeon was called in.  He'll be fine
-one of my nieces meets me at the reception.  She just got into one of the graduate schools there.  We meet the President together.  I was happy to be able to do that for my niece.
-And, to top it all off, I eat a lemon square at the reception.  Not on the plan.  Didn't even taste good.

Got in the car on the way home, my white linen outfit crumbled.

While the day did not go as I planned, it was worth it.  I re-connected with some old friends, made new ones and got through a day in punishing heat.


Well, I thought, last year you couldn't even do this.  Next year will be even better.