a new suit (m)

Two weeks before the medical school board meeting where I was the featured speaker, I decided to get something new to wear.  For years, I had been wearing the same outfit (black pants, black silk sleeveless blouse, long black thin knit sweater, Hermes scarf) to everything.  When I first started losing weight, I bought it in the next smaller size.  Lost more weight....bought the next size down.   Lost still more weight....down another size.  The only thing I varied was the Hermes scarf.  Yeah, that'll fool people into thinking these are different outfits.

By now, however, two things occurred to me:  1. I am sick of this look and 2. It's a "fat look," meaning no normal-sized person would dress this way (think Wynnona Rider's outfits).

Rather than go to a store and deal with an overbearing saleswoman, I perused a catalogue I got in the mail from a company in New York.  I am familiar with this line as I've bought outfits from it at both Saks and Bloomingdales.  I found a suit...a pencil skirt with a black jacket that has a little flare to it.  I even liked the black and white blouse they showed with the suit.  What the hell, I thought, I'll order the whole thing.

I called the company directly, thinking that would be the best approach.  They had a number for a "personal shopper."  She and I talked for about thirty minutes.

Me: Okay, so I want the whole outfit on page 5.
Her: Excellent choice.  Which size?
Me: Well, that's a good question.  I've lost some weight and I'm not exactly sure.
Her: Congratulations!  May I ask how much you've lost?
Me: I think 70 lbs. although I ate a chocolate Godiva Bunny recently.
Her: Um, okay, well, what do you think?
Me: I'll take a size "x" in the skirt and a "y" in the top and blouse because I'm bigger on top.
Her: Very good.  Oh, I'm sorry, we are out of that size for the top and bottom.
Me: Really?  I just got the catalogue today!
Her: Well, we can go up or down a size.
Me: Ugh.  Okay, let me think this through.  I then talked to myself aloud for about 5 minutes debating to go up in both, down in both or up in the top and down in the bottom.
Her: Why don't you just pick something and if it doesn't work, you can always return it for the other size?
Me: Well, there's a timing issue to consider.  I need this for a week from now for a big presentation, so there's no turnaround time.  Should I get both sizes for each?
Her: Your decision.
Me: Okay, okay, give me the larger top and the smaller bottom.  Let's hope this works.  I have to have this asap.  When can you get it to me?
Her: Let's see, today is Wednesday.  It will ship priority tomorrow.  You will have it on Saturday, Monday at the latest.
Me: Perfect.  The meeting is on Thursday of next week.

Saturday comes.  No suit.  Monday.  No suit.  Tuesday.  No suit.

I call on Tuesday, pissed.  I get the "after hours" customer service rep.  Here's what we learned: the suit was not sent priority mail.   The after hours rep says someone will contact me on Wednesday (the day before my presentation).

Wednesday comes.  No phone call.  I call them later in the day (by now it's clear I am wearing my old standby outfit).  Guess what?  The outfit never shipped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I'm really mad.

I ask to speak to the manager.  I get the head of Human Resources.  A woman named Lorraine.  She explains they are having IT issues and their orders are messed up.  I tell her she's got more problems than IT issues, like people issues and I go on to explain that the "personal shopper" never entered the order into the system as a priority ship and the customer service rep never called back.

She offers me a 15% discount.

I tell her that I've been a loyal customer of this brand for years (true) and that I usually get this brand in Saks or Bloomingdale's and that this is the first time I've ever dealt with them and the last time I will ever deal with them.

She asks me what would make me happy.

I tell her to think about it and come back to me, but 15% is not enough to compensate for all the aggravation.

Lorraine calls back later that afternoon.  She discussed my "case" with the President of the company.  They would like to give me the suit as a gift!

The suit cost $1,300.

I graciously accepted.

The suit arrived this week. 

The jacket and skirt are too big.

What would you do?