no wonder (m)

My father's formal education ended in eighth grade.  After that, he went to trade school, followed by four years in the army where he served under General Patton.  That, he said, was his real education. 

My father was intelligent, if not formally schooled.  He read the newspaper cover to cover every day and followed current events.  He had a great sense of humor and terrific people skills.  He was deceptively bright.

One of his favorite expressions was, "You're so smart you're stupid," which he would say to someone lacking in common sense but loaded with academic credentials.

Tonight, my group of alumni interviewers come to my home for our year-end wrap up meeting.  We review the results of our interviewing efforts....how many kids from our area applied, how many got in, how many wait-listed, how many are going, etc.  Straight-forward statistics.  No real reason to meet since this information can be emailed to everyone and requires no real explanation.  It is what it is.

You may recall that this is also the same group that has not said one word about my weight loss, even when the drop was 50 pounds between meetings.  Not a word.

I wear my most slenderizing outfit and put on make-up.  I open the door for the first guest.  She brings me a bouquet of peonies, my favorite flower.  I thank her profusely.  She is overweight herself but makes no comment on my appearance.  Fair enough.  I never commented on anyone's weight loss either when I was at my peak because I just didn't want to touch that subject.  I also, to be honest, was resentful.

Guest Number Two arrives bearing a beautiful yellow orchid plant in a cool pot.  I place it in a prominent spot and we agree it looks "at home."  She says nothing about my appearance.  This woman is super thin and weight-obsessed.  I would have thought she might comment, but no.

Six other guests arrive.  One woman brings name tags, even though we all know each other.  I fill out my name tag and slap it on my left shoulder.  I feel silly with it on, standing in my own kitchen.  It even says "Hello, my name is M" on it (Harrison comes down for food, takes a look at me and extends his hand saying, "Hello, M").

Guest Number Two fills out her name tag.  She puts MY name on HER tag!.  I point out that I'm flattered but she wrote the wrong name.  She changes it.

Guest Number Four writes down Guest Number Two's name on her tag! 

Someone spills cookies on the rug.  Someone else looses her car keys and I have to remind her that she came with a raincoat and perhaps they are in the pocket of her raincoat?  They are.

Someone else hocks phlegm so loudly and says nothing by way of an explanation.  This happens three times.

As I am cleaning up, I tell Harrison about the name tag mix-up.  We both laugh, especially considering these people went to one of the top colleges in the world.

And then it hits me.  They are so smart they are stupid.

No wonder they never noticed my weight loss.