Wednesday, December 15, 2010

a disastrous new recipe (lyn)

I was breezing through People magazine and came across a recipe (tantalizing picture and all).  It was simple to make and fairly low on points (I assume). I tear out the page and keep it nearby to remind myself to make it one night. 

It takes two store visits and about $10 to purchase the ingredients:  broccoli, red onions, fresh mint, and blue cheese.  I decide to surprise Alexander with something different (despite his reservations about my ever preparing anything new.  Understandably, he does not have a lot of faith in my culinary skills).  But this recipe seems pretty straightforward.  And, Alexander separately loves all the ingredients. 

I steam the broccoli first, which then puts it way ahead of schedule for the cooked onions.  And so I leave it steaming longer.  The red onions never become crispy, but they taste okay.  When they are ready, I go back to look at the sad looking broccoli sitting in my steamer.  It’s almost melted.  When I pour it into a bowl with the other ingredients to stir, it falls apart and looks like green mashed potatoes.  Alexander wants no part of this.  I try it and say, “It’s good,” which is kind of a stretch.  I’ve made enough to easily feed 10-20 people.  I convince Alexander to try it by making him feel guilty, “C’mon, I worked hard on this recipe because I thought you’d like it.”  He takes one bite and shudders, and for the next few minutes he comments.

“That was nasty.”
“How dare you put that next to my pasta!”
“I’m making myself sandwiches for dinner for the rest of the year.”
“That was one of your worst dishes ever.”
“I got excited when I saw the cooked onions.  Whatever that was, don’t ever make it again.”
“I’m sorry, mom, but that was really disgusting.”

The whole bowl gets thrown away. I wish now I’d taken a picture.  It looked nothing like the one in People magazine. 

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