Tuesday, May 17, 2011

newly discovered expiration dates (lyn)

MORE magazine conducts a survey.  They ask women at what age should they stop wearing certain items.  Here are partial results:

Ponytail: 51

Stilettos: 51
So at 60, should I cut my hair, wear only knee length or longer skirts, settle for my 2-inch shoes, and sell my comfortable and stylish Prada boots?  I mean, really.

I have to say, I understand that long hair-I mean really long hair-looks silly on someone older than 45, but ponytails?  I never knew they expired at a certain age.  Ponytails are convenient, look good, and are functional in hot weather. If I have to give up my ponytail, I may as well shave my head.

As for mini skirts, I agree that short, tight skirts are better suited to young bodies.  But my mother, at 81, has great legs and looks fabulous in short skirts.  She walks everyday and should be able to show off her legs without feeling “too old.”

I wish I could wear stilettos without feeling like I’m about to fall over.  When I see Christine Baranski (who is almost 60) walk in her 4-inch heels on The Good Wife, I watch with envy, not disgust.  Are older women better suited to looking shorter?

And knee high boots having an age 47 wear-by date is absurd.  I, mean, if we’re talking over the knee with an accompanying whip, maybe.  But just knee-high?  What does that even mean?  Work hard to lose weight and then go out and buy little ankle UGGS for that slimming pencil skirt?

I feel young and fit and still attractive.  Maybe MORE magazine asked the wrong people.

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