i've had it with oprah (m)

My friend, Mary, calls: "Did you see Oprah today?"  I seldom watch Oprah as I find Judge Judy to be far more entertaining.  "No, why?" I ask.

"Well, Oprah says that we are overweight because we don't have a good relationship with God."

Now, I'm not a religious person, but I do consider myself to be a spiritual person.  I treat others as I wish to be treated (except the people at Verizon), I give generously to charities, I try to maintain my important relationships.  I am a good neighbor and a good citizen.  I also believe in God and talk to him regularly.

I argue this concept with Mary (who also is heavy).  "Listen, I don't want to discuss this.  I agree with you.  I just called to tell you that Oprah thinks you'll be thin if you improve your relationship with God."

If it were that easy, I would have joined a convent a long time ago.