a long story for a short pair of jeans (lyn)

Not too long ago I hated buying jeans, but now that I’m thin again I don’t mind.  The other day I was getting a manicure and a woman about my age was wearing a pair of slouchy jeans with holes in them.  They looked great on her.  She told me she had gotten them at J Crew, so I order a pair of size 28, thinking that’s my size. It turns out I’m a size 27, so I return them.

Now, of course, I absolutely need a pair of cropped jeans.  I can wear them three-seasons a year, and I like the look.  The next day I go to Bloomingdales and find a great pair of boyfriend-style jeans.  As an added bonus, all the jeans are 20% off.  I first put on a pair of slouchy jeans that fit well, but may be a bit too slouchy. After my old-lady shoe error last Saturday, I’m trying to be more fashion-conscious.  Next I try on a pair of AG (Adriano Goldschmied) jeans that fit beautifully but are more than a little distressed. I ask everyone I can find what they think and the consensus is, “Buy them.  You look great in them and they flatter your body.”  Here’s a photo (I wish that were me in them).

But then I worry that maybe these jeans look too much like I’m trying to appear young.  So I send M and Robyn a photo and ask them if I should keep them. 

M writes back; here’s the entirety of her email:  “No.”  Later, when probed, M writes, “These look ridiculous for a 60 year old woman. Unless of course, you live in Appalachia or on a street corner.”

Robyn calls with advice.  “They are too casual for a date (I don’t remind her that I don’t date) and too informal to dress up.  For the money, I wouldn’t get them.  You can’t even really wear them to a BAFTA screening.”  So, I decide to return them and start again.

Since I now know that the size 27, AG jeans fit me perfectly, I order three different styles from Zappos, hoping I fall in love with one of them. When they arrive, I discard two immediately.  One I consider, the Tomboy Crop, 15 Years.

I go back to Bloomingdales to exchange the jeans I thought I loved.  I find another pair that I like, and buy them (the Piper Crop-15 Years).  The pair that look the best (at least on the hanger) are missing my size. They are the same cut as the original jeans I like but without the holes.  These are called Stilt Roll-Up-19 Years (the number of years is for the wash on the jean, NOT the age you need to be to wear them).

I come home and call an AG store on the Westside.  They have the jeans I think I like the best, so I go over to try them on.  It turns out, I don’t like them the best.

So now I have two pair that I like, and I make Robyn the final arbiter of which to keep.  I model them both for her and she concludes, they both look great.  “Pick the one that costs less.”  I get the Piper Cropped Jeans from Bloomingdales and save $18.

The end.