starving and unsure (lyn)

It's 9am and I'm starving.  I went to bed hungry and now I woke up hungry.  I feel like I'm on an abbreviated and extended Yom Kippur....abbreviated in that I get to eat a little, but extended in that this is supposed to be my life now, everyday.  Perhaps it's because I'm just beginning, and I've never done anything like this ever, but I am becoming obsessed with food and points.  I even woke up twice last night. I haven't eaten a thing yet as I am still contemplating skipping coffee altogether as that will allow me an extra point later on today, and since I only get 20 points a day...still not sure I can do this.  I'm thinking I need to see my jeans fitting better soon to get the incentive I need.  And it's not even been 24 hours since I joined. 


It's now around noon and I have a headache, probably because I gave in and had my morning coffee with a little half and half but skipped the muffin.  Probably not a wise choice.  Then, I went grocery shopping and spent $75 on items I've never before bought.  Things like lo-fat mayo, no-fat cheese, and those frozen Weight Watcher dinners.  I only bought those because it's easy to count the points;  you just read the number right off the package. 


I imagine my skinnier self and that keeps me focused.  


I'm already thinking of Thanksgiving-fearing the food but hoping I'll surprise my skinny sisters and mom with my progress.  


My soon-to-be 80 year old mother walks 3 miles about 5 times a week, all year, regardless of weather.  This summer, my son and I spent July an August with my parents on the Cape (in North Falmouth Massachusetts, a truly picturesque historical village), and got more familiar with their habits.  For example, my mom's everyday topics of conversation always include:  the weather, as in, "What's it doing outside?"  The price of gas, as in "How much is he getting?" referring to every gas station she passes.  And finally traffic, as in, "What's the traffic like coming over the bridge?" Even if she doesn't plan on going over the (Bourne) bridge.  She is mildly obsessed with bumpa-ta-bumpa traffic.  My mother looks fabulous, and acts and looks so much younger than her 80 years.   Her legs are better than mine;  well, her legs are better than most, regardless of age.  (My dad is not a walker.  He just stopped playing tennis three-days-a week last year because at 85, he pulled his groin).  I come from good genes.


I have one very fashionable, very beautiful younger sister who lives in both Long Island and New York.  She's naturally thin.  My other sister, the baby of the family, is also very thin and she works out about every day for hours.  She is a country-girl.  Lives in a small town in Massachusetts.  Both my sisters can wear anything and look incredible.  Good that the men in my family fluctuate in weight.  
-lyn