go fourth and conquer! (m)

Fourth of July this weekend.  It dominated the conversation at Weight Watchers today. 

We hunkered down and built a "war plan" to survive the weekend.  I don't think my own father had this much preparation when he and his tank corps stormed North Africa in WW II under General Patton.

And while he got a Bronze Star for bravery, I got a  "bravo" sticker for making some "intelligent" comments.   Honestly, I think I suggested bringing a bag of cut up zero-point veggies to the beach where my group will undoubtably be snacking on Doritos.

Meanwhile, the weight loss today is not worth mentioning.  I'll let you know when I hit the next milestone.  What is worth mentioning is that my friend, Elaine, was sitting behind the counter.  When I asked how her knees were doing (remember, she had the same operation they want me to have), her colleague said, "She's sitting...that's how her knees are doing."  Not good.

I left WW and went across the street to a store called Splash which specializes in high-end bath and kitchen fixtures.  I'm trying to replace the pillow on my Kohler whirlpool which I bought 12 years ago when we built our house.  I ordered one several weeks ago and they sent me the wrong one.

The service is from hunger in this place.   What could be worse than high end prices and low end service?  A woman who shares my same first name brings me into her cramped, messy office and calls Kohler.  She gives me a 300 page catalogue to "thumb through to find the sku."  Really?  Really?  I have to find the sku?

I look at the cast iron tubs....mine's not here.  It's been 12 years, M informs me.  Maybe they don't make them anymore.

M is on the phone with some piece of work from Kohler.  I hear a clicking and scraping sound from across the desk.  Because the office is so messy, my view of M from Splash is obstructed.  I look around a pile of catalogues....she's clipping her fingernails and filing them!  Absolutely gross.

I divert my attention to the other side of the desk.  M has a candy dish there.  She sees me looking at it and moves it away from me!  "Let me get that out of your way," she says.  I've never been so insulted in my life.  Why would she do that?

Then she points to my lapel.....I'm wearing my name tag from Weight Watchers. 

"Oh, thanks," I said, sheepishly.

M gives me the floor sample pillow, a credit for the one I'm returning and orders me a new one.  One hour of my life spent on a pillow for a bathtub.  Ridiculous.

I leave Splash and head to the grocery store where I buy my munitions for the weekend...fruits, veggies, 100-calorie bread, turkey and tuna.

I shall be armed and dangerous at the beach.