Monday, August 8, 2011

variable size (lyn)

My bras are too big.  Either they’re stretching or I’m shrinking.

I go to Linda’s Bra Salon.  As soon as I take my top off, the salesgirl says, “That bra is definitely too big.  How long have you had it?”  “Only about a year,” I say.  “Well then, it’s time for a new one.  You can see that the one you are wearing is all stretched out, and besides, it doesn’t fit you anyway.”

She measures me and declares, “You are definitely a 32.  You measure across at 29, so a size 34, even if it weren’t stretched out, would be too big.  “But it looks great,” I protest.  Then she says, “You should have five bras that you rotate wearing.  All bras only last about a year before they stretch out.”  I think last time I was here Linda, the bra expert, told me that everyone needs only three bras. 

Right before starting Weight Watchers, I think I was a 36-something.  During the time I was losing weight, I was a 34.  And now I’ve settled into a size 32.  Something I’ve never been in my life.  Have I really gotten that much smaller?  Smaller across than I was in college, when I was a 34B?

And how did I get to be a double D?  Even after Alexander was born I was still a size B.

I think bra sizes have been adjusted over the years to make women feel better.  I think a B has morphed into a D, and a 34 has shrunk to a 32.  There’s no other explanation that makes sense.

Katy Perry is also a 32DD, and I sure don’t look like her!

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