the dressing room (m)

I need new clothes.  Not just because I've lost weight, but because I've been living like some anonymous housewife in Land's End garb for two years and I feel like a hick when I go to meetings in Boston.

Drop H off at the rink after school and, rather than hear some distraught mother lament over why her daughter's double axel is inconsistent, I head to Bloomingdale's.

I start in the jewelry department because I can't bear to think about trying on clothes.  I buy the Timex watch I saw in the Style section of the NY Times recently...red canvas band, large white face.  Cheap.  Off to a good start.

Head upstairs to the "women's" department.  It's a slow day because of the snow.  Two salespeople descend upon me.  I send them away.

So many choices, my head is spinning.  I scoop up a bunch of things...pants, sweaters, blouses.  Even a beaded thing for New Year's Eve.  Wait...the Cruise Wear is out!  I am not planning a cruise, but the clothes look nice.  I get an armload of things. On my way to the dressing room, I see an Eileen Fisher persimmon wool coat that looks great.  It's on the display.  I don't see another one.  I take the whole display ensemble into the dressing room with me.  I pass a party dress and take that too. Why?  Why not?

By the time I get into the dressing  room, I'm sweating.  Do I count this as an activity point? 

Mirrors everywhere I look.  Ugh.  I force myself to look.  Not bad, but far from good.  Ah, well.

I try on everything.  It takes a full hour. The sales woman stations herself outside my door.  "Need any help?"  Nope, I say, I'll call you if I need you.  "Can I see?" she asks.  Nope, I know what looks good on me, I say.  "Just a peek?" she asks.  If I had pepper spray, I would have drenched her with it.

I emerge triumphant.  I have gone down one size on the bottom and one-two sizes on the top.  I bring my goods to the cashier.  Here's what I bought:

-black turtleneck
-black pants
-black sleeveless tank top
-black dress sweater.

No beads, no cruisewear, no persimmon, no party dress.  Still, I'm happy.  This is progress for me.

I conquered one of my biggest fears today: the dressing room.