my new jean jacket (lyn)

This summer my friend Corinne visited me on the Cape.  Corinne is tall (about 5’10 to my 5’5’’), slim and stunning.  One evening when we were going out she wore a pair of pants with a tank top, baseball cap with a peace sign that she had bought that day, and a simple jean jacket.  She dressed effortlessly and looked beautiful.

After Corinne had returned home to NY, my mother was commenting on how lovely she was, and how I should dress like her.  I think subconsciously she thought that if I dressed like her, I could gain 5 inches and lose 30 pounds.  It was then I decided that a new jean jacket might help.

I went in search of finding one.  But it was an overall disappointing venture.  The jean jackets I saw that looked good on the hangers did not translate well to my body.  I remember trying one on that I liked but couldn’t button. I almost bought it anyway, justifying my near-purchase with the rationale that jean jackets are mostly worn open. 

After that bad experience, I’d pretty much given up on my search.  And then today, quite by accident, I found the perfect jean jacket.

It doesn’t matter how; it doesn’t matter where; I just knew that when I put it on, it felt right.  The sleeves are ¾ length, the dye is a deep blue, the silver buttons give it a contemporary look, the company who makes it is called Joe’s, and the fit is perfect.

Looking at myself in the dressing room mirror evoked memories of wearing a jean jacket with Eric, Alexander’s father.  I’m hoping I’ll have the same luck with this one as I did with my last.

Eric and I met in the summer of 1989.  I was in a shared beach house in Southampton, and he knew some of the people in the house.  I was immediately attracted to him:  He was drop dead gorgeous.  Curly dark hair.  Almond shaped, soulful brown eyes,  A chiseled chin.  A beautiful smile.   He was 26 and I was 38.  At the time, it didn’t seem to matter.  After all, it was just supposed to be a summer fling.

In September of that year we were invited to an engagement party for one of my good friends.   I wore a very hip, very short, Morgane Le Fay black dress with a low squared boat neck, topped with a Ralph Lauren denim jacket.  I felt so alive and young.  .  I was also thin and fit and very very happy.  But I knew my relationship with Eric would be temporary, and because of this feeling, I was always vulnerable in his presence.   Even when things were great, as they were that night.

It’s funny how I don’t recall much about the party, but I do remember what I wore and that slightly dizzying, off-balance feeling that a fall into love can cause.