Saturday, December 26, 2009

not today (lyn)

Usually I love when it rains.  I find the sound of rain calming, and it’s a great excuse to stay in without guilt.   But not today.  Shari calls from Florida and it’s beautiful there.  Today I miss sunshine.

When Alexander is out I enjoy having the apartment to myself.  I can sit in the living room free of his orders to leave.  “Please go in the other room, I need to read and I can’t concentrate with you in here.”  Or, “Please watch TV in your room.  I really need to watch last night’s football game that I DVR’ed.”  Or, “I need to finish playing Madden.  I’m in the middle of a game.  I promise.  I’ll be done soon,” (which of course he isn’t).  But not today. Today I miss my son’s noise.

I like staying in.  My apartment, even though it’s not nearly as large as I’d like, is comfortable and convenient. I can usually find endless things to do in it.  I read, organize my 500+ digital photos from 2009 so I can make them into a year-end hard-covered book (I do this every year), re-arrange some of the cabinets in the kitchen, and talk on the phone with a few friends.  But I am not content staying in. Today I feel restless. 

One of my favorite activities is eating out with friends.  Carol suggests we go out for dinner.  Eating out complicates tracking.  Plus, there are too many temptations.  I’m still hoping to make my goal of losing 24 pounds by year-end, though that achievement looks doubtful.  So I decline Carol’s offer.  I’d love to have a nice juicy burger and well-done fries, something that’s been absent from my diet since starting on Weight Watchers.  

Just not today.

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