In preparation for Wednesday weigh-ins, Tuesday is always a low-eating day. Today is no exception. Miso soup for lunch, and sushi for dinner. Not even an apple or popcorn in-between.
I don’t notice how little I eat today, as I am getting swallowed up in this whole college process thing, and the accompanying stress. What if Alexander doesn’t get into the schools he really wants? I need to register him for the ACT (which a few months back I'd never heard of). He’ll take that in April, after he takes the SAT’s in March. And what SAT 2 tests should he take? Those will be in June, right after he takes the AP exams in May for Spanish and Econ. And how am I going to pay for college? What if he doesn’t get enough scholarship money? And what can he do this summer that is meaningful? How can I help him and not annoy him? And oh how I’ll miss him. Will it be like getting a divorce when I’m still in love? Or will I be happy for him and ready to give him his independence? I hope the latter.
I suppose it’s good that I react to stress by eating less, not more. But even so, it’s an uncomfortable state. and one not easy to escape. Just this morning, I awoke from sleep remembering a nasty dream. I was being fired for cause, and my boss (an attractive dark-haired female I don’t recognize) quietly (but with little sadness) provides a list of infractions I never knew I’d committed. She’s almost smiling as she tells me to clean out my office.
With relief I awake from a world where I'm being fired, into one where being fired is impossible. Which is the bad dream?
No comments:
Post a Comment