lunch with m.e. ...priceless (m)

M. E.  calls yesterday and invites me to lunch today.  I look at my calendar.  I can do that as my meeting in town is over by 10.

"Okay...I have a hair appointment at noon in Newton.  Meet me at Legal's in Chestnut Hill at 11", she tells me.

Eleven a.m.   It has come to this.  We are eating lunch... with the old people... at 11 a.m.  Needless to say, I did not eat breakfast as I did not want a Vitamuffin to bump into a salad in my stomach.  I imagined that would be an unhappy pairing.

I arrive at 10:30.  The parking lot is virtually empty so I can see that M.E. has not yet arrived.  I killed some time in City Sports and then walked over to Legal Seafoods. 

I take a seat on the leather bench next to a sweet-looking senior citizen.  She looks like one of the Irish nuns from my elementary school. 

I take a pamphlet from the counter titled: Recipes for Shrimp. Too many points in each dish.  Someone should talk to the executive chef about designing leaner options.

Just as I'm reading the Recipes for Crab--which I hate--I hear someone yell:  "WHERE'D YOU PARK? I DIDN'T SEE YOUR CAR!"

The old woman next to me jumps five feet.  I thought we'd need a defibrillator for her.  M.E. apologizes "Sorry, dear, didn't mean to scare you."

I look up.  She is standing in the doorway, hair soaking wet...not a speck of make-up on.  The only plausible explanation for her appearance was that she was taking a shower and the Fire Department ordered everyone to evacuate the premises immediately.  But I know better.  This is vintage M.E..  We had to cajole her into wearing lip gloss and blush for her wedding.

M.E.  leads the way into the restaurant and decides we should sit at the bar today.  We can watch the Goldman Sachs people squirm on the flat screen television during the hearings in Washington, D.C. "Scumbags" she declares.

Suddenly, she spots a woman sitting by herself across the bar.  She points at the woman and says very loudly "I know you....you're Jill Finkelstein!"

It wasn't.

That did it to me.  I couldn't stop laughing.   I laughed until I cried.  Somehow, we managed to order. 

M.E. explained to the waiter that she had to get her hair cut at noon and that her hairdresser didn't like for her to be late so we would need our food pronto.  It came at 11:35 and we wolfed it down in 15 minutes so she could leave by 11:50 to get to her appointment.

We said goodbye and headed to our respective cars.

I was exhausted by the whole thing.

Got home and took a nap.

PS.  M.E. wants you to know that she's a little crazed these days because she's working full time and driving her son all over 3 states for soccer tournaments.  "Every minute counts...I probably stuff too many things into my day for the time I have."