Saturday, December 24, 2011

no honeymoon phase (lyn)

I love having Alexander at home, but he would rather be at school.

He tells me, “I like my other roommate better.  Ben never nags me.  He never tells me to make my bed.  He doesn’t tell me when to go to sleep.”

I respond, “But he doesn’t make your meals either,” thinking I may have an edge here.

“No, but someone else does that.”

Now that Alexander is accustomed to freedom, he naturally prefers it.  And like most people, he's on better behavior with others than with me, his mother.

For example, I doubt that with Ben, Alexander would:

  • Enter his room and then fling his coat onto the nearest piece of furniture.
  • Go into their tiny fridge and finish all the little Babybels, pirouette cookies, or anything else that looks appealing.
  • Half drink many bottles of Poland Spring water, so the fridge is filled with multiple bottles of water with varying water lines.
  • Not say goodnight to Ben at two in the afternoon, as an implied signal to not speak to him again until the next day.
  • Stay up until three or later and then sleep through most of the next day.  (Well, maybe he does do this, though I doubt Ben would care).
  • Yell at Ben (or ignore him) when he reminds him to do something for the fiftieth time (like write thank-you notes to his grandparents who sent him something for his birthday in mid-November).
  • Say yes do a request he has no intention of fulfilling, like, “I want you to find some community service work to do on Christmas Day.”  
  • Let his room pile high with once-worn clothes, that don’t get put in the laundry basket or in a drawer.
  • Play music that Ben doesn’t like, loud and frequently.
  • Order Ben around, with demands like, “Get me some Coke.”  Or “Go in the other room.”  Or, “Where did you hide my phone? “  
  • Issue dog commands, such as, “Stay,” if he doesn’t want me to come out of my room, or “Good Girl,” when I don’t. 

Yes, I bet Ben is a more tolerant roommate.  But still, my home is better with my son in it.

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