Tuesday, October 6, 2009

struggle (m)

Had dinner last night with a group of women who are the mothers of Sam's good friends from high school.  We love how our sons keep in touch and that brings us closer together.

On the way to the restaurant, I had myself a little "pity party" while contemplating what I could and couldn't eat.  I knew it would be difficult sitting there for several hours and not blow my diet.

What transpired over the evening was transformational for me. 

There were thirteen of us ( I know, wish it were 12 or 14).  One of my favorite mothers has cancer and is in the fight of her life.  This is a woman who did everything right--diet, exercise, clean living,  family, God --and yet this  rare type of cancer came from nowhere.  Another mother is a two-time breast cancer survivor.  Also thin, disciplined and stylish.  She never knows when it's coming to hit her again and lives with the knowledge that another occurrence is highly probable.  I watched these two women embrace each other, the second one commenting on the first's new wig.  How they manage to laugh and stay positive is beyond me.

I looked around the room and saw the rest of the women with an increased clarity of vision.  Each one had her own personal struggle...the husband who left her to start a new family with a younger woman, the one who battles with alcohol (she's winning), the one whose financial woes just got bigger. 

But, is my weight really a "struggle" compared to their problems?  I think what separates us is that, for the most part, their struggles were out of their control.  Mine is a result of my own doing.  They can't control theirs.  I can.

In business, when you change your point of comparison, they call it a "re-framing".  I decided last night to re-frame my battle with my weight from a struggle to a "challenge".

If my friends can go through what they've gone through, I can do this.

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