the bridal shower--post script (m)

My husband's family has a rich New England tradition.  There's a statue of their most famous ancestor in the State House in Boston.  The same gentleman has a dormitory, street and scholar award named in his honor at a prestigious Ivy League University. 

In my husband's office, there is a colored illustration of their family crest with their motto under it.  Imagine your own crest, your own motto.  To the best of my knowledge, my family has neither.

If my family were to have a crest and motto, I imagine a picture of an ashtray with the name of a hotel on it, stuffed inside a woman's purse.  The motto would be, "If it's free, take it."

Got home from the bridal shower yesterday and did bills and personal correspondence last night.  After that, I cleaned out my good Hermes Birkin bag (a present to myself when I was promoted at work).  There, inside the bag, to my utmost horror, were the following items:

-2 pens used to play Bridal Bingo.  I did not put them there.
-a jar of spice from the "Guess the spice game."  The spice was put there by Aunt X.  She took all the other spices home and gave me Cumin which smells like dirty feet.  The bag reeks of it.
-2 tea bags wrapped in cute packaging.  These were not party favors.  They were at the coffee/tea buffet.  Someone who shall go unnamed (Cousin Patty) put them in my bag.  "You like tea," she said today.
-1 Cupcake wrapped in a paper napkin.  Can you believe it?  A cupcake...crumbs, frosting and all. Thank you, Mother.  "Don't eat it, give it to Harrison," she said.

I'm sure somewhere out there, that snoot from Hermes is shaking her head thinking "I told you we never should have sold that purse to her."