table manners (m)

The first time I met my husband's parents, I had come straight from Spring Break in Florida.  I had an unusually dark tan, even for me.  At one point in the evening, I overheard my father-in-law whisper to my boyfriend (now husband) "What race is she?"  Not the first impression I intended to make.

Over the years, the families--his and mine--learned to adapt to one another.  I even got them to try Italian food which they had never had.....not even pizza.  They were well into their 60's by that point in time.

In her kitchen, my mother-in-law had one of those teak spice racks where the clear glass jars get filled with spices, labeled, and then placed in slots on the revolving unit which swirls around like a lazy Susan.  I can't tell you how many times I watched that thing spin around with empty slots except two:  Salt....Pepper....followed by 14 blank slots.  And then again.  Salt...Pepper....14 blank spots.

Perhaps the biggest difference for me was how we approached our meals in restaurants.  My family does everything "family style."  Individual plates get passed around continuously or worse yet, the food gets cut up and hangs in mid-air until it lands on someone's plate.  This drives my husband crazy.  We even dictate what the other family members can order: "Don't get the shrimp.  Mom's getting the shrimp.  Get the chicken Marsala 'cause we want to try that."  Or even "Don't get the calves livers.  No one wants that."  Doesn't matter if that individual wants calf livers.  If it can't be shared, it can't get ordered.

My husband's family, on the other hand, stays within the boundaries of their own individual plates.  Nothing gets shared. 

Once, I convinced my in-laws to try Chinese food.  Here's a snippet of them ordering:

Father-in-Law(to his wife): "What are you going to have, B?"
Mother-in-Law: "I think I'll have the chicken with cashew nuts"
Father-in-Law: "That sounds good, I think I'll have the same"
Father-in-Law (to the waiter): "Two orders of chicken with cashew nuts, please."

All I remember after that is that I drank something blue with an umbrella.

Last night, our family went out to a nice restaurant.  Sam's girlfriend is in town and we dressed up and went out to Abe & Louie's.  Nana came as well as Cousin Michael.  One big happy group.

When the food came around, the ritual of the passing of the plates began.  Side dishes, main dishes. Everyone, except my husband, passed their food around.  I looked up.  Sam's friend, J, was right in the mix, sampling and laughing.

I knew I liked her.