Remember when you were a kid and you made a face at someone and a grown up would scold you by saying: "Don't do that! Your face might freeze that way!"
I often wondered what it would be like for my face to be frozen with my tongue sticking out at someone. It never seemed to bother me. Maybe it was because I thought it would be awfully efficient to have your face permanently set in the highest-use mode.
Today, I called my doctor to discuss some symptoms I've been having which concern me less from a health standpoint and more from a weight loss standpoint. You see, I seem to be in a permanent pre-menstrual state: bloating, crankiness, etc.
My doctor is a thin uber-WASP who travels "neat" countries to have action-packed adventurous vacations: diving, mountain-climbing, etc.
She explained that this is part of menopause. I have enough hormones to bring on classic pre-menstrual symptoms, but not enough to finish the job.
So...are you saying that I'm stuck like this for a while? I asked.
"Our bodies are amazing things," she replied airily.
"For how long?" I asked.
"Your body will take its own time. Everyone is different," she said.
"Yes...but seriously, HOW LONG COULD IT LAST?" I asked.
The answer: could be a year.
I think I'd rather have my eyes crossed for that long.
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