birthday boy (lyn)

I remember when Alexander was an infant, and people would say to me, “Wow; you’re a single mother.  That’s so brave.” But I would tell them how wrong they were.  I felt (and still do) unimaginably happy, and lucky.  To be able to say the words “my son” has given me more joy than I ever truly expected.

Today Alexander is 17.  It’s his birthday so I reluctantly give in to his pleading request to stay home from school. 

I leave early to go to my weight watchers meeting, where I learn that I’m down another 1.8 pounds, for a total now of 15.4 pounds in 8 weeks. Robin wasn’t at check-in today so I weighed in with Marianne.  I think we’ve both forgotten our rocky start.  Marianne is an attractive woman, over 60 I’d say, who appears to be a proper upper eastsider.  I am surprised, then, when I notice a tattoo on her forearm.  When I ask her about it, she smiles and says,” that was a long time ago,” suggesting that the person she appears to be is not the person she is.  It makes me like her more.

I feel like I could be a poster child for WW as I am so focused and so committed to losing weight that I never randomly abandon the program, even for a day.  I am talking to one of my ‘classmates’ and she comments on my weight loss, and says that I must be near goal.  I tell her that ideally, I’d still like to lose about 20 pounds, and she responds, “And I’d like to be a ballet dancer.”  Her comment, though jokingly delivered, stings.  Is my trying to get down to a weight that I spent most of life being that far-fetched?  I don’t think so.

After WW I scramble to another meeting on the school’s 2010 Benefit.  At the end of the meeting I am talking to tall, slim, beautiful Corinne when a mutual friend comes over, and comments on how great-and thin-Corinne looks.  She does.  But then before I can stop myself I shamelessly chirp, “What about me?  I lost 15 pounds.”  And as soon as the words fall out of my mouth I feel foolish and idiotic.  Not to mention, childish.

I get home around noon or so, and my new toner has arrived.  It’s not for my face; it’s the one for a laser printer, $146, but good for 6,000 pages.  The last one I bought was two years ago.  So as I’m installing in, I think that I probably won’t have to buy another one for two years.  And then it strikes me that two years from today my son will be in college.  It makes me more than a little sad.

Karen and her adorable kids come over around two with a spectacular football cake that Karen has made for Alexander.  It even has his number on it, 41.   It’s the first time in almost two months that I’ve had any cake other than angel food.   I love every bite. 

Alexander’s grandparents on his dad’s side take us both out for dinner to celebrate Alexander’s birthday.  We decide on sushi.  And because it’s so low on points, I think I totally overdo it and eat way too much.  But we have so many laughs and such good conversation; it’s all worth it.  A nice end to a very nice day.