mirror, mirror.....(m)

Went to return something at a store and the overbearing proprietor had me try on a scarf and look in the full length mirror (I wanted to tell her that is the fastest way to run me out of the store).  I trudged over to the mirror most reluctantly and when I looked up, I saw a thinner version of me.  Really noticeable.  I asked her if it was a "skinny" mirror and she said "no", but I didn't believe her.  This woman will stop at nothing to make a sale.

From there, I went down the street to a shoe store to buy some comfortable walking shoes that didn't look like "Grandma shoes".  Size 10 W is hard to come by and I found a couple of pairs in this store.  One was a black patent leather loafer (from Germany.  All the Italian shoes were thin and narrow.  You'd think my own people could make them bigger).   I told the saleswoman I thought those were too "racy" for me.  She told me they were stylish and that I could pull it off and to look in the mirror.  Again the mirror.  So, I trudged over there, looking down for one of those little mirrors that only show your feet and ...horrors!...another full-length mirror.  I liked the shoes and looked up, expecting to see a puffier version of me versus the last store.  Instead, I saw a thinner me...just as I did at the crazy lady's store.

I should probably preface what I am about to say by telling you that I believe the FBI or CIA murdered President Kennedy and that the Royal Family was behind Diana's murder as well.  In other words, I am a conspiracy theorist.  I was convinced at this point that the whole town was locked in a conspiracy to flatter its customers by using trick mirrors which make people look thinner...and buy more.

I looked around and saw a customer... one of the many fabulously thin, wealthy blondes who are indigenous to this town.  I asked if she would look at herself in the mirror but I didn't say why so as not to bias her.  She did and turned to me and said, "Yes?".  I asked her if she thought she looked thinner in the mirror.  She said "No, why?".  I told her that I had lost a few pounds recently and wanted to know if the mirror was "accurate" or not.  She said it was and asked how much I lost.  I told her 24 pounds since early September and in the lockjaw accent that is a trademark of this town she said "Good for Yew!!"  I didn't buy the shoes but I did leave the store happy.

By 2 pm, I went to the rink to pick up Harrison.  As I was leaving, one of his coaches skated over in my direction and said "M....you can really see your weight loss now".

A good day.