week 10, and I’ve lost 18.6 pounds (lyn)

So, I didn’t quite make my goal of losing 20 pounds by Thanksgiving, but I almost did.  I lost 1.8 pounds again this week, for a total of 18.6 pounds since September 16^th.  I feel so good about it, and I know I look so much better than I did when I started.

The rest of the day I spend getting ready for the big reveal.  I have my hair colored and highlighted, my brows waxed, my nails all painted a pale pink, and my clothes all tried on and packed.  Lots of blacks for maximum affect.                                 , 

I last saw my parents and my sister Jean (and her family) on September 12th when I was in Massachusetts for a family Bat Mitzvah.  I almost didn’t go.  I was embarrassed, and feared that there would be too many relatives at the Bat Mitzvah who hadn’t seen me in a while and who would be furtively eyeing each other and whispering about my weight gain.  I was still recovering from my mother’s stinging comment in late August about a friend of hers not recognizing me because I’d become so heavy.  I wanted my extended-family to see me as the skinny girl I no longer was.  In the end, of course, nobody paid any attention to me, but I was still self-conscious in my tight-fitting (because it no longer quite fit, not because I thought it was sexy) black jacket and skirt.

Tomorrow Alexander and I are taking a train up to Boston, where Jean, her husband and two kids (ages 11 and almost-17) will pick us up, and together we’ll drive down to the Cape, where my other sister (Valerie), her husband and her three sons (ages 23, 27, and almost-29) will be joining us (having driven up from Long Island).

I am excited to be going to the Cape for Thanksgiving, something we haven’t done in 12 years.  While all thirteen of us are almost always together for Thanksgiving, over the past 12 years, we have either celebrated at Valerie’s home in Long Island, or Jean’s home in Massachusetts.  My NYC apartment is too small to accommodate such a large group, so I’ve never hosted.  (I’m oft reminded of this in comments like, “You have no idea what it’s like to entertain”).  I do host book club once or twice a year, but I know this is hardly the same thing.

I sometimes wonder if I like the concept of Thanksgiving more than the actual being there.  I do love my family, and we are all close, and it’s usually a lot of fun. But I always feel like a child when I’m back at home.  And worse, I think I become one.

I’m also nervous about eating away from home for almost 3 days.  I’ve already accounted for Thanksgiving dinner, but there is also a lot of other eating that goes on.  Friday night my mother has already told me that she’s prepared a ziti casserole (about 9 points per cup). So my choices for that dinner will be to: eat the ziti with abandon and not beat up on myself; OR try to eat a small amount and fill up on salad OR pick up something less fattening that I would love (like a lobster roll with 1/3 pound of fresh lobster meat for 8 points).  I like the last option best but I’m afraid this might offend my mother.

I know these are small concerns.  Because really, I cannot wait to see my family and celebrate Thanksgiving with them.  The laughter and warmth that I know will be there will surely compensate for the extra points.