Early this morning I’m reading and responding to emails, when suddenly I am unable to send one. Then I see that none of the lights on my cable modem are happily blinking. And Meredith and Matt are no longer on my bedroom TV. The TV in the living room is also not working. Aagh! I'm in for a day of frustration.
8:45 am: I call the cable company to report the problem. After 8 minutes I’m finally talking to Customer Service Rep (CSR) #1. First, as protocol requires, he asks the standard obligatory questions: name, address, phone number. He tells me that perhaps it’s an outage in the area. This means, he says, that he cannot request a service call for at least 4 hours. “We need to first verify that the problem is not outside your home.” This sounds reasonable until I realize that I can verify it in minutes.
9:00 am: I go down the hall to Karen’s and her TV and internet are working fine.
9:30 am: I call back the cable company. Only 5 minutes waiting. I get CSR #2. I give my name, address, phone number, again. I explain the problem, again. “Our next available appointment is Saturday, November 14th,” she says. Is she kidding? It’s Thursday morning. My son needs the internet for school. I need it for a million things. I suppose we could do without television, but definitely not the internet. I beg. I plead. Finally CSR #2 tells me that that a technician can come today, but I’ll need to be home until 7pm. I suppose that’s better than waiting two days, but that would mean missing Pam’s birthday celebration at 12:30. Or…I’m thinking, “really, what are the chances that in a 9 hour window the cable company will show up in the 90 minutes or so that I’ll be gone.” As if reading my mind, the customer service rep adds, “If the technician gets there and you’re not at home you’ll be charged $40.” What do people who work do? I ask for a supervisor. The customer service rep (who is quite nice and appropriately sympathetic) tells me that she will talk to a supervisor and see if any better alternatives can be arranged, and she will call me back within a few minutes. So I hang up and wait. She never calls back.
10:00 am: I call the cable company for the third time. I get a recorded message that says, “You have an appointment scheduled between 10 and 2.” Hmmm. Maybe CSR #2 who never called back was able to get me a 4-hour window instead of a 9-hour one.
10:15 am: I call again to verify the 10-2 appointment. This time it takes about 12 minutes to get to CSR #3. Again, I give my name, address phone number. This rep says that the appointment is scheduled for between 10 and 7 and that the recording is incorrect. He says, “I’m sorry, m’aam. But emergency appointments, which is what you have, are always 9 hours.” I ask to speak to a supervisor. He asks if he can put me on hold while he locates one. I ask if it’ll take long. “No, “ he says. “Less than two minutes.” 15 minutes later I am connected to a supervisor.
10:45 am: The supervisor asks for my name, address, phone number. She then asks what problem I’m having. I explain it for a 4th time. Every new person I speak to is starting from ground zero. She checks and contradicts CSR #3’s answer and assures me that the appointment is scheduled for between 10 and 2. She double checks with the dispatcher and gets back to me with, “If it’s any help, they will definitely not be arriving before 1:30.” I cancel my 12:30 lunch plans; Pam is understanding.
12:10 pm: The cable technician arrives. So much for the Supervisor’s ETA. (Now it looks like I can go to the luncheon after all. I call Shari and tell her that now I expect to come, but I’ll be a little late). The technician looks at my TV’s. He asks where the cable originates. “ In my hall closet,” I tell him. He asks for a step stool. I remove giant boxes of Ziploc bags and tennis rackets from the upper shelf of my closet so he can see where the cable enters my apartment. He checks my wiring. He hooks up his wiring to my TV. He explores in my hallway, outside my apartment. He does something on his computer. After 45 minutes he is ready to deliver his verdict: The good news: it’s not the wiring in my apartment. The bad news: it’s the wiring from the cable in my hallway to my apartment, and this technician is not equipped to fix it. That needs to be scheduled with the Cable Maintenance Group, and only he can call, not me. I call Zelia this time and she says they just ordered, so maybe I can still make it.
1:00 pm: I wait while the technician tries and tries to get through to the Maintenance Group. We are both frustrated. The technician then tells me that he has to leave my apartment "for just a minute, but I'll still have my phone with me." He leaves and never returns.
1:30 pm: I call back the cable company. I’m on CSR #5 (if you count the supervisor). Again, I give my name, address, phone number. I explain the problem but she can’t help. She’ll put me through to a supervisor. While I’m on hold listening to inane music (I think it’s purposely programmed to be so annoying that you’ll just hang up), I call my friends and tell them I'm not going to make it. 15 minutes later a supervisor comes on. The supervisor says he’ll try and reach the “dispatcher” whoever that is. I wait 25 minutes. The supervisor returns, very nice, but tells me he’ll have to call me back with the new appointment information.
4:00 pm: Finally, the technician calls back. When asked, he says he didn't return to my apartment as promised because, "I had to go to another call." I guess it didn't occur to him to tell me. "Anyway," he says, "I finally got through and someone can come out next Tuesday" (today is Thursday). I feel like I'm trying to steal one of Santa's elves three days before Christmas. I try to be as calm as possible, which is really really difficult, and tell him that waiting 5 days is unacceptable. He says he'll try to get an earlier date.
In the meantime, neither my son nor I can watch or record shows. And without internet we wouldn't be able to:
• Download a textbook that is online, and needed for Alexander's Physics class
• Send or receive email
• Buy music
• Print out a return label so I can exchange a sweater
• Pay my bills without a stamp
• Access the studio websites for upcoming screenings
• Order groceries from Fresh Direct
• Check to see if there are any $3.50 plays for this weekend
• Log my points on the the WW website
• Blog (or even read what m may have posted).
I guess I’m going to have to sneak usage of someone else’s signal. My son is not going to be happy. And when he asks, as he usually does, "What did you do today?" I will have to honestly answer, "Nothing!"
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