backhanded compliments (m)

These are some of the "compliments" I've been receiving lately.

1. "Wow.  I can get my arms around you now.  I mean ALL the way around"
2. "I was looking for you (going up the stairs in the arena).  Your silhouette has changed.  I didn't recognize you.  I was looking for something (note: thing) much bigger"
3. "You look very different.  You look like someone out of Jersey Shore.  No, seriously...I mean that as a compliment"
4. "If you lost another 40 pounds, you would be perfectly normal.  Well, normal overweight."
5. "Two chins down, one more to go!"

I'm sure they mean well, but I'd rather hear nothing.  My advice to everyone:  Zip it!!