tough to swallow (m)

The week before we head out to Nationals in Spokane, Washington and I wake up sick as a dog.  My throat feels like shards of glass are stuck in the back.  My head is congested and my ears hurt.  I have no voice at all.  How did this happen?

I'll tell you how it happened.  I got the flu shot this year.  No...I got two flu shots this year: seasonal and swine flu.  When am I going to learn?  This never happens when I don't get the shots.

The mothers at the rink take one look at me and start offering remedies...Elderberry syrup from Whole Foods for immunity boosting.  Emergen-C powder to dissolve in water and superload on Vitamin C.  Some other brew from Whole foods called Bronchial Wellness.  They swear it works.

I go to the Whole Foods in Cambridge.  I feel like I've landed in Guatemala.  A rack of hand made hats and belts made of hemp is the first thing I see.   A huge section of potions and lotions devoted to "wellness" and another to "health".  Which aisle has the Elderberry syrup?  I ask a person who works there.  She looks like a relic from Woodstock. 

The woman leads me down an aisle that reminds me of the time I visited the Medicine Man in South Africa.  No Sudafed here.  She arms me with all the stuff the mothers suggested and then recommends a jade necklace to wear for "wellness".   I'm all set, I say.

$40 later, I'm pouring this stuff down my throat, sitting in my Yukon (the "bus").  This is about as incongruous as it gets, I think.

I keep my 4 o'clock appointment with my doctor.  I ate some red lozenges so my throat will look so raw that she'll prescribe anti-biotics.  No dice.  She says it looks nasty but viral.  I ask her what I should take instead and she says Sudafed, Afrin Nasal Spray, Motrin or Advil.

I mention the Elderberry and Bronchial Wellness and Emergen-C powder and she laughs.  "Take them if you want to, but I don't think they will do anything at all for you."

I go back into the car and check the bag of Whole Foods purchases.   I'm not surprised my Western medicine doctor scoffs at them. What's toughest for me to swallow about the whole thing is that I wasted 4 Weight Watchers points on these syrups.

Now, I'll have to skip my popcorn snack tonight.