DJ (lyn)

My friend DJ died today.  It was totally unexpected.


I was working at Discovery Communications in 1997 when I first met DJ.  He was a producer and we worked together on an upfront film to show to advertisers.  DJ was the consummate placater.  His position required that he find common ground among numerous and difficult personalities, and he never disappointed.  He could look directly at B, the most uninspired, least intuitive person I’ve ever met, and make him feel that his laughable observations were brilliant.  He always found a satisfying solution, regardless of how inane the request.   He fared much better with Sales management than I did.  But he always made me look good, as his work was flawless.   I loved working with DJ, and after I left Discovery, we became friends.

DJ and I lived very separate lives.  In the 12 years since we met, I’d never once been to his apartment, and had rarely met his many friends.  But that never diminished the connectivity of our friendship.  We had shared interests:  movies (we’d seen many together over the years), theater (DJ was the first and only person I'd call to see off-beat, downtown plays at Rattlestick Theater),  reading (although DJ’s list of favorites was far more intellectual than mine), photography, and good food.


While DJ had no children of his own, he cared deeply about Alexander.  He had the ability to see the world through the eyes of a young boy, and in so doing, often helped me be a better parent.  DJ most often took the side of Alexander, and I loved him all the more for it.

In November, DJ and I saw several movies together, and I noticed he seemed more cynical.  His patience for others had worn thin, and little things that would not have bothered him previously, now did.  He just didn’t’ seem as happy as he once was.  Almost as if life had gotten to be too much for him.

This afternoon I got a call from DJ’s very good friend, Jim, who lives near Boston.  Jim and I have only met once, a long time ago, so I knew his calling had to be about DJ, and I also knew that the news was not going to be good.

I had spoken to DJ right before Christmas, and even then, he was nursing a cold.  Apparently the cold never improved, and he became more and more depleted.  DJ never paid much attention to his own health, so when he called a friend of his on Saturday evening, complaining about his lack of energy, she was concerned.   This morning she went to his apartment to take him to the hospital.  He was very weak, and could barely walk.  While leaving the apartment, DJ collapsed and died.

I am stunned, and cannot believe that my friend is gone.  His heart was big and his sole was good.  I hope he is in a happier place. 

Life is so precarious.  Needless to say, food is not on my mind today.