My husband takes my elderly aunts out every New Year's Day. It's his little "program"...a trip through Boston to see all the latest developments, a trip by the Ice Sculptures from First Night, a trip by the old landmarks so they can reminisce. Then he deposits them in our house for lunch.
Given the snowstorm last week, he postponed the outing to today.
No problem. I "auntie-proofed" the house first thing this morning. Rolled up the scatter rugs so they wouldn't trip; switched the chairs at the dining table from the light beige ones to the red check ones (in case they spill) and cleaned up the shoes, hockey bags and skates in the back hall so they wouldn't fall over stuff.
I planned the menu so the food would be soft and chew-friendly: tenderloin of beef, mashed potatoes, peas, soft rolls, softened butter and a tomato and mozzarella salad. Dessert was a birthday cake for Aunt X with vanilla ice cream. I also made soft chocolate chip cookies from scratch.
Oh, and a pitcher of whiskey sours to start. Their favorite.
By 12:30 everything was ready and the table was set. It was almost too calm.
Here's what went wrong:
1. My mother was ticked off that there was no fat in the pan from the meat with which to make gravy.
2. So, she went into the laundry room to do a hand laundry.
3. The aunts arrived within minutes thereafter, and my mother left the laundry room to greet them.
4. The meat was undercooked slightly (not really, but they like it well well-done) so I put it back in the oven.
5. My mother used the time to return to the laundry room. We heard a scream.6. My mother had left the sink running. Water was everywhere. My mother insisted on mopping the room up herself, leaving me to entertain the aunts who were upset by the commotion.
7. My husband checked the basement and said water had gone through the ceiling and was pouring into the steam room, bathroom and hallway. Red paint on the walls was streaking the white beadboard.
8. Harrison and my husband raced downstairs to mop up.9. I burnt the rolls and overcooked the beef (even by their standards).
10. When I finally pulled everyone away from the mess, we ate. It was okay, not great.
11. Someone knocked over the pillar candles and wax shot all over the top of my nice wood table.
12. Two glasses broke
13. Aunt Y fell asleep at the table from the TWO whiskey sours.
14. I got so stressed, I wasted 4 whole points on a glass of wine.15. I got hives from the wine.
Happy New Year.
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