internet expo (lyn)

So today I go back to the Internet Expo.  It’s a drizzling warm rain, nowhere near yesterday’s weather.

I grab a VitaMuffin, throw a Sweet and Salty ww bar into my purse, and I’m out the door by 9:30.  I attend two seminars.

The first is called Get Published.  Four smart young panelists speak.  All are bright, succinct, successful and informative.  It’s moderated well, and the audience asks smart questions.  I learn a little from each expert, and take the email address of one.

The next seminar I go to is called Six Figure Blogging.  The speaker, a man about my age and dressed in a suit, stands in the front of the room next to his power point presentation.  A few years ago I had an inventive and brilliant boss named Matt (now global CEO of a major ad agency).  He had two mantras:  never speak the word utilize (use works just as well), and never present to clients using PowerPoint (I almost got fired for suggesting it for a pitch to a major cable company).  Scott, the presenter, uses PowerPoint.

He begins his speech by asking everyone, “How are you all doing today?”  And the audience enthusiastically responds.  I say nothing, as I don’t like rhetorical group questions.  Nor do I like his folksy, too-familiar style.  The guy next to me is eating some kind of chips that smell, and I’m beginning to feel nauseous.   Scott continues.  “I guarantee that by coming today, your life is going to be different in six months.”  A wildly favorable response breaks out from the audience.  I feel like I’m part of some get-rich-quick cult. Then Scott asks everyone to stand and stretch.  I hate this seminar already.  I take out my iPhone and play Scrabble, occasionally looking up when a slide looks interesting.  Or, when I am bothered by the woman in front of me who audibly murmurs agreement with everything this guy says, regardless of its hyperbolic level.

As Scott drones on with his complicated graphs and pretty pie charts, one woman shouts out, “When are you going to get to blogging?”  “Don’t worry,” Scott assures, “I will.”  He never does.  Instead, he spends an hour and a half proving why growth and usage among mobile devices far exceeds growth and usage of computers and the Internet. 

Scott ends his presentation with a five minute sell of his $1,595 six week course, describing in detail what is covered each week.  Then he shows how $1,595 is a steal, as the real value of the course is double that.  He then itemizes and ascribes values to each of the program’s many elements.  By now I am truly hating him.  

There is a presentation later in the afternoon by one of the founders of Twitter which I’m sure would be interesting, but what would I do for the three hours in between?

I decide to leave.  Walking in the misty rain feels good.  I take out my two-point ww bar, and enjoy the day.